Don’t you love when teabags give you inane advice? Hi. I’m back.
Let’s update. So, I stopped doing my Satya of the Day because I stopped feeling inspired–and that was *kind of* their point. 😂 And then I realized, the reason I did them in the first place was always to talk myself out of anxiety. Sometimes it worked, mostly it didn’t, but what they DID do was bring us all together, united by our own anxieties. Because anxiety is, truly, the universal common denominator.
So here’s my new thing: anxiety of the day. Let’s throw some light on what we’re too often dealing with alone, even if it feels trivial–we’re not here to judge ourselves, just to unburden ourselves in a safe space.
I’ll start. I live in an apartment, which is anxiety-inducing hell for all kinds of reasons. But the other day, my neighbor, who had not had a car in over a year, something I was grateful for, which is another long story, came home with one. Our lot is now very crowded, and he’s a careless parker. I was just waiting for the day I wouldn’t be able to fit in my space, and last night was it. So, this morning, I had to write a note and stick it on his door. A FRIENDLY note, but still–nothing worse. NOTHING worse than confrontation, even passive confrontation. I was seized with anxiety all night about it, and now I sit at work, armed with CBD and deep breathing and for what? Why? I have no idea. It’s, unfortunately, how I’m wired.
Mark Twain said something like, “the worst things in my life never happened.” Those of us with anxiety know this to be absolute truth. I live in vibrating fear every single day. Trivial hurdles, huge hurdles, catastrophes that will never happen, doesn’t matter. I will never believe myself worthy of any good fortune. That’s reserved for other people, “normal” people.
You too? I thought so. We, petals, are the princesses who feel the pea–I hear you and I see you, you brave souls who get up and do the thing anyway, even though every step takes all of your energy. Shout or whisper about it here. We’re all here for you. ❤️
Amy Holt 